Thursday 28 October 2004
Blonde GUY joke
Posted by kim @ 6:38pm
Heather just sent this to me. Enjoy :)
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, Bolognaise again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bolognaise and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
Tuesday 26 October 2004
I hate Summer
Posted by kim @ 7:30pm
Well, maybe 'hate' is too strong a word. Maybe. Perhaps 'strongly dislike' would be better. Ok, 'very strongly dislike'. Either way, I don't like it very much. And it hasn't even started, technically. Technically, we're still in Spring. But Summer is sure on the way, and I'm not liking the look of it one bit - its been upto mid to high 30s already.
I'm not one of these people who likes hot, if you couldn't already tell, I like cool-cold temps, where you don't have to put up with feeling sticky and disgusting all the time, or breaking into a sweat if you even dare to move a muscle. I'm one of these people where heat, and being in the sun, actually makes me sick. Literally. So you can probably understand why I don't look forward to Summer. I'm not one of these people that can ever go to the beach without paying for it dearly, and I don't just mean the sunburn, I mean full-on migrains. Sunburn itself is a big no-no, I spot a bit of sunburn, I know to get under a cold shower quick smart and get my body core temp down as quick as possible before the headache starts, even then its not guaranteed to prevent 'loosing' the next few hours. Summer sucks for me.
Tuesday 26 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 5:32pm
Don't let men organise anything. They appear to be totally incapable of any form of organisation, and you will be forever amazed and dismayed at their total lack of organisation if anything is left up to them.
Perhaps I should explain. For years now (and this probably shows how trusting, and hopeful that one day they'll get a clue, I am ... or that I'm just plain delusional), I've sat back and watched, whether by choice or not, opportunity after opportunity go to waste simply because no-one has got of their butt and organised an occasion. The occasion in this case is a birthday dinner for one of our friends. Its his birthday today, and we're not doing anything. Days ago Iain and I had organised that we'd take him out to our favourite restuarant for dinner, but that all changed the next day when some of our other friends called/emailed/messaged to say 'why don't we go here', 'why don't we go here', 'why don't we go here' - where 'here' is 3 or 4 different places. So our plans were put on hold and thats how it stayed for the next few days, with no-one making a decision or getting off their butts (I use that term figuritively because it wouldn't even take *that* much time and energy) and send around a simple, quick email to say 'we going here, at this time, on this day, join us if you can'. But no. Instead we're showing out appreciation and love of this friend by doing absolutely nothing for his birthday. Great guys, thats just fabulous.
(Btw, I'm not usually this sexist, but sometimes being the only girl in my group of friends is a real pain in the arse.)
Posted by kim @ 7:35am
Posted by kim @ 6:58am
Iain and I started our morning walks again yesterday, now that its getting lighter and we've both started waking at 5:30ish, and this morning I saw two little wrens, Superb Fairy Wrens to be exact, in the gardens, in the Parklands. Now that may not sound too amazing - we did afterall have stacks of these cute little birds in our gardens at our old place in the suburbs - but this is the city, and not the Botanic Gardens either, but the Parklands where there are generally a lot of people and a lot of noise .. well, maybe not this time of day. I'd never expected to see any type of little bird living in the city, but I suppose, if I was going to see any little bird living happily here, it would be Superbs - they aren't nearly as perturbed by mobs of aggressive Minor birds harrasing them, or by big predatory Crows being around, as most other little birds are. And being one of my favourite birds ... :D it was great. I look forward to seeing them tomorrow, chittering happily as they skip around in search of tasty little insects. I'll see if I can get a photo.
Saturday 23 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 1:22pm
I just found this rather ... umm .. interesting? .. article in the Courier Mail, and I think it's put me off travelling to such areas anytime soon:
Flushed with experience
Everyone needs at least one bout of toilet trouble ina foreign land, writes Catriona Mathewson
Talk about being caught with your pants down. He was a strapping young Aussie perched on top of two rickety planks spanning a ditch in Thailand when he heard a sound that made his blood run cold - the sharp crack of wood splintering and snapping beneath him.
The contraption rapidly collapsing underneath him was an open-air squat toilet designed to serve the slightly built inhabitants of a remote Thai village.
Everything would have been OK - had he not decided to impose his ample Western frame upon it.
Minutes into some early-morning ablutions, the shocked backpacker found himself plunged ankle-deep into the village's business.
Frantically he clawed his way out of the hole only to discover there was no running water in the village.
"I was shocked", he recalled. "It was like I'd had a car accident."
Cleaning up as best he could with a bucket of water and a sponge, he trudged on for three more hours before reaching a mountain stream.
Although few can say they have actually toppled into toilets on their travels, the cautionary tale strikes a chord with journeymen and women everywhere because no matter how worldly wise you are, if you haven't had at least one bout of toilet trouble in a foreign land, you haven't lived.
No matter how much they enjoy immersing themselves in foreign cultures, most travellers still admit to a feeling of unbridled joy when they stumble across a sparkling clean, peaceful Western loo.
It's not cultural snobbery.
It's just deflating to finally triumph over language barriers and actually find a toilet, only to realise you don't quite know how to use it.
From being squirted in the eye by a bidet to being flummoxed by a "female urinal", it seems most people would rather muddle through on their own than ask for advice about the most private of places.
According to Brisbane travel consultant Martine Hero, most of us could use a little toilet training before venturing out into the big, bad and strangely sewered world.
"I think if you could have nice clean flush toilets everywhere you go, travel wouldn't be any problem at all," Hero says.
But, unfortunately, public toilets around the world rarely measure up to the high standard set by many Australian conveniences.
Hero regularly hands out toilet tips on what she sees as the three major areas of concern: toilet paper (or lack thereof); being forced to pay to spend a penny; and the logistics of squat loos.
Hero's first rule of travel is never leave home without your own roll of toilet paper. The second is keep plenty of change handy.
"Australians find it quite unusual to pay for public toilets", Hero says, adding many tourists worried they were being swindled when asked to cough up.
By the same token, there was nothing worse thean being caught without the correct change for coin-operated European conveniences.
Once past the paymaster, patrons then have to tackle a variety of different toilet designs, although Hero says squat toilets - so named because they comprise little more than a hole in the floor - caused the most consternation.
Manoeuvring delicately into position was only half the problem. The remainder involved finding out exactly where the toilet paper and flush button had been hidden.
Unfortunately, by the time most people realised both were missing they were not in much of a position to mount a thorough search.
Hero explains the answer can be found ina bucket of water and ladle located next to most toilets for flushing and washing.
"The bucket of water is the worst", Hero says. "A lot of people think what the hell am I supposed to do with this.
"Am I supposed to wash myself or am I supposed to flush the toilet with it? A lot of Australians don't really know what to do so they don't do anything. People probably think we're pretty unhygienic."
Whatever you do, do not be fooled - as one young traveller was - into thinking baskets of paper have kindly been provided for your use.
They are actually receptacles for used paper, as many local systems do not cope with toilet paper.
Public toilets have become such an issue for travellers, all Lonely Planet travel guide books include a helpful section on toilets, advising that in Iran, Turkey and Pakistan, for example, travellers should head to local mosques for the cleanest toilets; while men travelling in Europ are warned not to be alarmed if women should wander past their urinals. Many public toilets in on the continent are unisex with urinals in the communal "wash" area and both sexes sharing cubicles.
Overall, the most popular way for travellers to find reliable, clean toilets overseas is to head for the nearest five-star hotel, or keep an eye out for the familiar Golden Arches fo the ubiquitous McDonald's restaurants.
Perhaps picking up on this trend, McClean's - a private European company - has started a chain of public toilets for travellers.
For those doing their homework, a list of toilet tales from around the world, along with recommendations in cities around the world (including Brisbane), can be found at thebathroomdiaries.com
This is something I'd never thought about when considering travel to such places. Maybe now I'll think twice. ... This in itself is a shame; you should be able to enjoy the culture of the place without having to worry about such things when on holiday - how is someone supposed to remember to carry toilet paper with them whereever they go? I mean, it isn't something you usually carry around with you, so I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one to forget something like that when I leave my hotel room.
Thursday 21 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 9:12pm
I was just going through my emails and found this:
It great! :D And I'm sure there are more then a few people out there who can sympathise :P
Posted by kim @ 8:35pm
As soon as I read this:
"If you get eight of your friends together wearing Binary Bit shirts you can represent one ASCII character!" (seen next to the Binary Bit shirt at the bottom of the page)
.. I said "That's not right!". Iain, who was sitting next to me, looked over and said "What?". I highlighted the passage and said "That.. 'one ASCII character'? That's not right. With 8 people you could have heaps of characters - however many different combinations of 8 you can have, depending on what t-shirts everyone is wearing." He cracked up and said "You are such a geek!" I said "Well, you could - capitals, little letters, numbers, symbols, the lot. You could even count to 800-or-so if you wanted. But the two people on the end might get a bit dizzy." He laughed again.
Tuesday 19 October 2004
A little ray of Sunline
Posted by kim @ 7:15pm
A little one to keep an eye on in coming years.
So cute :)
Posted by kim @ 7:35am
We've known for a while now that our Post Office across the road is shifting to a new location, but we didn't know where to or when until they put little notices in our mail the other day. They're going to be right next door. Next to our garage door that is, around the corner from where they are now. So it'll be even easier to check our mail, and it might only take me 5mins to got work in the morning instead of the usual 8 :)
The reason given was that their lease is up then (the end of Oct) and that they're not using all the space upstairs anymore since the offices were moved down to the GPO. But I have my suspicions that the area - the Post Office as it is now, and the businesses beside it - are ear-marked for another apartment block. I know that this end of town is now zoned as residential but isnt' this being a bit ridiculous? If the PO/other businesses give way to an apartment block, it'll make the 8th apartment block going up just in the 1-block radius of our place (us being an apartment block - the only fully completed one in the area - and would really make 9 in this area). So as far as this end of town is concerned its really a CRD - Central Residential District - rather then CBD.
Monday 18 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 6:13pm
Saturday saw us at another wedding - that of Hannah and Jason Seymour. Overall, it was a pretty good night: Hannah was even more beautiful than usual, Jason, his hansom self, the service wasn't toooo overly religious - which is to say it was religious, conducted in a church with hymns and all, but they didn't over-do it on points like the couple 'being Pure', 'remaining as themselves', 'keeping themselves for the marriage', etc. In fact no reference to purity was made at all. A good thing in my book. But then I'm one of these terrible people who have been 'living in sin' for the past five-and-a-half years and have no intention on changing that situation any time soon.
The reception was a blast with many laughs, and some great stuff-ups in speeches; a classic was said by one of Hannah's friends, addressed to Jason: "I can't wait to get with you", quickly amended (with an appropriate amount of blushing) with "get to *know* you, to *know* you ... Honest! ... sorry Hannah, I really didn't mean that" :P Poor girl.
Everyone kept asking whether we were next, we kept saying "not likely", but I think Iain was getting a bit sick of the slagging done by the end of the night. I actually think that George and Tamara will be next, but I don't think that will happen anytime soon either; George is too shy and Tam isn't in any rush - she thinks 21 is far too young to be getting married, and I have to agree.
All-in-all, a very good night was had.
Posted by kim @ 1:36pm
This was just sent around at work, and effectively helped to lighten the mood:
Monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side,then asks the lizard, "whats the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey!" the Monkey looks down and says, "faaaaaaark.......how much water did you drink?!!"
Posted by kim @ 9:57am
I've gotten to the stage today that I've actually started hoping that I loose my job here. That's a pretty strange thing to say, isn't it? Well, its been escalating for the past 2 weeks or so now, until this morning, when I was asked to do something that I find against my morals as a law-abiding person.
But the fact that I received a 'we regret to inform you' letter to day for a job that I applied for back gawd-knows how many months ago, and they've only just finished assessing them now, doesn't give my a lot of hope of finding another job, in my area of expertise, any time soon.
Update: The rest of the day didn't turn out that badly. It went up from this incidence this morning, and we actually seem to be making some headway with SAP.
Tuesday 12 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 7:24am
I was just catching up on a few blog entries and found this, about the Elections on Saturday, on Daniel's site. I have to agree; what does someone have to do to get voted out? But then, I wasn't disillusioned enough to think that my vote would actually make a difference (god-forbid that that would ever happen), afterall I didn't vote for him the past two elections and he still got in. Whatsmore, I know fewer people this time that voted for him, and he didn't just 'get in', he won by a huge margin! WhatTF is going on?! Something's screwy here.
New additions to the family
Posted by kim @ 6:52am
To my cactus and succulent family that is :)
Meet, from the top, Isabelle, with her pretty yellow flowers, Jacob below her - he actually has long spikes with hooks on the end, but you can't see them in the photo - then Wally, Sam on the left with the red top, then Harry in the middle.
Aren't they cute? :) I got these little guys from Bunnings on Sunday, much to Iain's chagrin :)
Posted by kim @ 6:41am
Christopher Reeve, the original superman, passed away on Saturday from heart failure leading from an infection in a bedsore. He was 52.
52 isn't such a bad age, I guess. Its pretty good really considering his condition. Nonetheless, the world will definately be a worst-off place without him.
Saturday 9 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 11:40am
My RSS feed has been, understandably, rather neglected over the past two weeks. I'm slowly working at it; I've got it down to 93 new entries now. Here are a few that I found on the NewScientist link:
Clean green cars move one step closer
A new generation of cheap and efficint hydrogen fuel cells may bring the dream of environmentally-friendly cars closer to reality. ...
T. rex descended from feathered ancestor
The ancestors of Tyrannosaurus rex were covered in protofeathers, reveals the most complete fossil found so far. ...
Virulent 1918 flu genes resurrected
Genes of the influenza strain which killed 50 million people have been reconstructed in the lab - to help understand why it was so deadly. ...
Sharpest views shed light on early universe
some of hte sharpest observations yet of the big bang afterglow may help astronomers reveal the first seconds of creation. ...
Water coursed through Martian hills
The twin rovers on Mars have found new signs that water was once plentiful on Mars - at least one area was deluged twice. ...
And here are a few that I foung ages ago but never got around to posting:
Thousands of elephants still killed for ivory
About 4000 elephants are being killed each year for their tusks, but global demand has changed with African markets outstripping Asia, says a major report. ...
Pulsating red giants hide inside deceptive shells
An optical illusion has long lead astronomers to overestimate the size of some read giants by a factor of two - the throbbing stars had been shrouded in mystery. ...
Two new rocky 'super Earths' found
The discoveries may herald a new class of planet outside our Solar System - making the hunt for Earth-like planets more hopeful. ...
Egyptian mummy 'unwrapped' by modern scanning
An ancient Egyptian mummy, his bandages untouched, is revealed using the latest scanning and modelling techniques. ...
Posted by kim @ 8:31am
Nan's funeral was Thursday. Dad and I took compassionate leave from work and him, Mum, Tahls and I all headed up to Bundy that morning. The service was at the Bundy Crematorium at 2:30pm, and it was a good service. Ok, that might sound a bit wierd but it was. Many tears were spilled by everyone, Ang did very well with the eulogy she'd put together, only pausing a few times at the beginning to push back tears and to calm her voice, and once at the end when the wind came in the door and blew the pages around (Ang said that Jude was there, and I recon so too, she never did like anyone making a fuss over her). She spoke of all the good times, and the bad, of Nan's infectious laugh - and it had been infectious - of her care for others, and of the tragedy of Kym's death - the first time I'd heard anyone speak of Kym openly before (Kym had been the 'baby' of the four children who had been killed at the age of 3 in a hit-and-run accident - and who I'd inherited my name and teddybear from). Many of her friends turned up, friends that she used to play tennis with, people from the bowls club, people she used to work with and socialise with, neighbours, other friends, rellies from down south that Tahls and I were too young to remember but whom Mum, Dad, Ang and Shel knew. Heaps of people. But not much black. Because Nan had never liked black much. Even Chris and Kassandra turned up. That was a nice surprise. I hadn't even known that they knew so of course I didn't expect them to appear next to Tahls, Mum and I at the food/condolenscence-exchanging/catching-up/cheering-up/remembrance time after the service. That was a very nice surprise indeed and gave us ample excuses to cheer up a bit and catch-up on missed news.
There were many laughs and much jovility at the gathering of family, neighbours and Nan's close friends, back at the house afterwards. It was good. Its such a shame that the members of our family live so far apart, it was really nice to see them all together, even if it was precipitated by a very sad occasion. I made promises to hurry up and get my Visa so I could go and see Shel in Malaysia, and to hurry up and get a house/garage so that I can do up all the old cars that I want to do so that I can drive them down to show Ang. There were other people there, like Frank and Robin, that were introduced like relatives but I'm not sure just yet exactly how they're related - something I'll have to chase up.
The day ended with us heading off, back to Brissy, and as we were driving out the back way, the most gorgeous sunset looked down on us. And I wish I'd taken my camera. It was the most perfect round orb sitting just above the tree-line and with the bit of smoke in the air, it was the most gorgeous red-orange colour. Magnificent. The perfect end to such a day.
She's sitting up There now, with her big, friendly Wolfhound, Max, at her side and little Kym on her lap, looking down over us.
Sunday 3 October 2004
Posted by kim @ 9:13pm
Well that sucks. The Bulldogs just won the Grand Final for this season. I was going for the Roosters. Actually, I'd been backing the Cowboys, but they'd gone out in the Semis, so I'd chosen the Roosters to back for the Final. I knew that the Bulldogs were probably more likely to take out the trophy - they'd had a great season - but that didn't mean that I'd wanted them to win.
Posted by kim @ 4:01pm
Is now the time for relief?
There is a bit, to know that she's not suffering anymore. But the sadness that she's gone still lingers.
Now I have to tell my sister.
Update: No tears. Just a sigh and a nod, and the subject was swiftly changed.